At some point in their musical careers, most students want to quit. As a parent who has invested in lessons and an instrument, you might be upset at their lack of interest. Or maybe you’re confused because they seem to be progressing well, but suddenly lost motivation.
However, you may be saying, “I wish I never quit piano when I was a kid,” so you want to get to the reason behind this change and help your child either stick through it to the next stage, switch instruments, or decide if it’s actually time to let go.
Check Expectations
Have a conversation with your child around their own expectations about playing their instrument. Do they want to be playing a different style or music? Do they just need to mix in one more fun song? Discuss changes in song selection with the teacher. Sometimes students are nervous to speak up when they want a new song and may need a parent to handle the conversation.
Teachers notice when a song isn’t motivating the student, but may not be getting a clear answer about what pieces the student wants to play. While they’ll probably be aiming to teach a mix of style or techniques, it might be time to take a break from a certain style to try something new.
Not Seeing Progress
Even if the teacher and parent see progress from lessons, some students just aren’t moving as quickly as they want. The teacher may be able to mix in a few simple songs as “easy wins” to get your student back on track and excited.
Learning an instrument is hard work, though, and your student may need more reminders of how far they’ve come to keep up their enthusiasm.
More Motivation at Home
Parental involvement in practice time may be a bigger necessity than you realize, as well. If your child wants to quit their instrument, you may need to increase the rewards for practice at home or find a new routine and time. Simple verbal encouragement may be all they need. If you hear them working on a difficult section, praise them for their hard practice and point out when you notice they get it.
Performance Anxiety
While it may be a few months before the opportunity for a recital comes up, some students may already be anticipating the inevitable and want to quit while they can. Although many musicians will need to perform at some point in their lives, smaller recitals or only playing for family may be enough if your child otherwise enjoys learning an instrument.
From the beginning, sit in on your child’s practice time periodically so they get used to an “audience,” and try to have mini concerts for family more often to ease them into performing.
Time to Try a New Instrument?
While music lessons are online and students have a little more time, now is a great time to try a new instrument. Sometimes a student doesn’t want to quit music completely, they just want to learn something a little different. The switch may help them realize the effort they already put in towards their previous instrument, or they might find a talent they didn’t know they had!
Other Interests Taking Priority
Maybe music isn’t their top priority right now. School can be demanding, or your child might be very talented athletically. Music can still contribute greatly to their lives as they grow up into adulthood, but you might need to discuss ways to manage expectations with your student. Find time to practice at least a few times per week (so the child still sees progress), but maybe limit recital requirements or the number of songs they’re learning.
Decide on a Timeline
If your student seems really set on quitting, try to decide on a timeline to finish out the commitment. Finishing what they start is an important lesson that translates well into adulthood. Decide on a realistic plan for practicing over the next few months and choose a deadline. With reemphasis on practice time, the student will be able to see a little more progress to encourage them to continue, or the teacher can focus on techniques like sight reading and chord charts that the student will need whenever they pick up their musical journey again.
Ultimately, this time can be a great opportunity to give your child the life skills they need to overcome an obstacle when they want to quit. Sometimes they need to put in a little extra work to get over the next hurdle in technique, and they’ll find they never wanted to quit in the first place.
